I hate my boss and want to quit

I hate my boss but love my job

I don’t really hate my job. I just hate my new boss. He has been with us for more than 1 year now and I thought it would get better, I really did. But towards me, it just got worse.

One day I just woke up and felt like I didn’t want to go to work. That I rather just quit and never see his face again. It was a big and sad decision for me considering I love what I do. I’m a librarian who works mostly towards elderly homes, seniors and mentally handicapped.

It’s an amazing job and I love everyone I work with. But ever since that boss started I started to feel mentally bullied, discriminated, like I’m worthless and nothing I do is ever good enough for him.

I had real hopes he wouldn’t stay long here considering he never sold his apartment in another city. But sadly I don’t think its the case. And inside of letting him crush me and my self-confidence more, I decided to quit.

Here in Sweden we usually have 3 months after the day we quit. So I’m not totally free yet but after handing in my resignation I felt this huge rock lifted from my shoulders.

I recently started to declutter and clean out my apartment but considering this I will need to do it even more. I will for a short time move back to my parents and try to figure out what it is I really want to do with my life.

With my education, I don’t have a hard time getting a job so that part doesn’t really worry me. But as a person who is afraid of change and an uncertain future, it really does worry me.

library-cards-bookshelf-shelf

rare book catalog, bookshelf, shelf, library, librarian

Something I think I can do to calm myself is:

  • Eat properly 

We all need to eat, but I have a tendency to not always do so. So I need to start eating every day and preferably proper dinners and not bought fried food.

  • Stop waiting to the last day to pay bills

I have this strange thing in me that wait until the last day until I pay my bills. It’s like I enjoy the rush of “Will she pay this month?”. I always do. But waiting until the last day might cause extra drama and stress.

As I’m moving soon I will also quit my gym membership. But as the spring is here I can finally start going for long walks in the forest. This might help me sleep better in the evenings.

  • Doing things that make me happy

I know what makes me happy but sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to do them. That I always do what others want to do and I always follow them. Life is to short to do what others want. Its time I, Elin, decide what I enjoy and then do it!

I have many “friends” who are very needy in energy. And I say “friends” because I don’t think they consider me a friend. They want sympathy and someone to complain to. They take my energy daily. I don’t need these people around me or at least I don’t need to sit up every night listening to them complain. I need to declutter people that take more than they give back or at least give them less.

Do you enjoy your job? What do you do?

Much love,

Elin

Published by Elin's Era

I'm a former Swimmer, after getting nerve damage in my jaw I started coaching instead while going to the university. I studied Librarianship and information science. After I graduated I became and librarian. This is the best job and I love it. I have been to different kind of libraries and been different kind of librarians. But I settled down as a middle school librarian. I like helping children find their reading passion. I read daily and will write about everything I think about. Good books, bad books...any book really.

65 thoughts on “I hate my boss and want to quit”

  1. Author Ryan Callahan says:
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    Praying for you Elin. In my 40 years on this earth I have had to quit several jobs in the past due to issues with owners or bosses. It can be very refreshing to move on and I pray new doors open for you that are even better than what you had. God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Chiqi Hoopini says:
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    Such a great insight “I know what makes me happy but sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to do them.” Totally relate to this I’ll be chewing on this for a while. I hope your 3 months resignation flies in fair play to you taking your power back!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Infidel753 says:
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    Here in Sweden we usually have 3 months after the day we quit.

    I’m curious what this means. Is there a law that if you quit your job you have to stay there for another three months? It’s hard to see how that could be enforced. Or did you mean something else?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Clara says:
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    I Will miss you so much, but since work at the same library and also have several runins with The Boss (he really like to talk about himself as The Boss) I understand. I just hope anyone remains to see the new library in the autum… To answer the question about the three months… It depends, in most workplaces if you worked for more than two years your “uppsägningstid”, the graceperiod for the employer to have a chance to find a replacement worker is three months. However if the employer want to fire you, they can’t just fire you… They have to keep paying you wages for between one (if you worked less than two years at the same place) to six months…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. sewbeachlife says:
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    It’s sad that you don’t have a human resources department that you could talk to about the boss. Although the fact that you felt a weight lift from your shoulders means that you feel good about the decision. Please do eat, and walk, and enjoy some sunshine. It will make you feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elin's Era says:
      Reply

      Oh we do 🙂 but they haven’t really listened. Now on the other hand when I have quit they have to listen and is now making an investigation on him 🙂 Hoping the ppl still staying will have it better than I had.

      Like

  10. Sheree says:
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    Elin, congratulations that was a brave move but the right one. In your exit interview, please explain to HR why you resigned and, if possible, give dates and examples of how your boss undermined you and made your life a misery. Hopefully, he won’t be able to do that to anyone else!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Molly-Joy says:
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    I feel like I’m really on the fence at the moment, with a very similar predicament. I *think* I enjoy my job, but the office environment and management styles leave me feeling confused and on edge most of the time. I keep waiting for things to get better, but it doesn’t seem to be happening very quickly, or soon. I’d hate to have to leave, because I don’t know what else I’d do! I admire your courage here, hoping I’ll find mine before work causes too many problems!

    Like

    • Elin's Era says:
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      Try to find a job while you have this one. In my case I didnt because I couldnt take another day there. But considering you arent in my shoes yet where waking up every morning puts a big stone in your stomach and just the thought of going to work makes you puke. You do have time to make things work 🙂 So try finding another job in a place you might find better. I know the grass isnt always greener on the other side. But at the same time we shouldnt let one person beat us down to much. One day we will just feel so worthless we dont leave bed. And sadly i might be there atm.

      Dont let it go to far like I did.

      Much love,
      Elin

      Liked by 1 person

  14. smw166 says:
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    I’m someone who loves their job, I’m a midwife and always feel proud to say that. I meet and support many amazing women, they keep me inspired and motivated.
    It sounds like you made the right decision, who knows what exciting opportunities will come your way x x x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elin's Era says:
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      Well the jkob there is nothing wrong with. The other way around. I loved what i did 🙂 But being mentally bullied and pushed down by your nearest boss because he need a hitting bag. Thats something completely different 🙂 Glad to hear you love your job tho 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. retrodee says:
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    I’ve decluttered friends before. It was painful but I was tired of being told what to do plus getting insulted by a couple of pushy people. One problem with 2 of my gal friends was they thought as long as they were “trying to help” the could say anything to me even if it was rude and insulting. Friends should not be insulting, imo. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elin's Era says:
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      Sounds horrible :/ i än happy you are free from them now 🙂 some people should just not be in our circles. I think im one of the peoples who are very forgiving and kind and let anyone in xD

      Makes decluttering friends really really Hard :/

      Like

  17. pattaya says:
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    Promised myself not to comment anymore but I will In this case because I was in your situation, 21 good years and 2 terrible in same company, I did tried to change myself to fit in, more work, more studies, more workout, more socializing with colleges but nothing helps my relationship with the new owners of the company, so I did quit, the best thing I ever did to myself, I haven’t been as happy like now for many years, I have rebuilt my life, like a start over again, wish you the best luck and hope you find yourself again 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Hannah | Frugal Bride to Be says:
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    Since moving to a new store I can’t seem to settle and can definitely relate to your feelings of nothing being good enough! I’ve only been there for 2 months so far so feel like maybe I should give it more time but on the other hand it’s making me miserable and I don’t look forward to going to work any more which is such a shame!
    I hope everything works out for you and I’m sure something much better will come along and your boss will appreciate you much more

    Liked by 2 people

    • Elin's Era says:
      Reply

      I would say ”dont do what i did and try to ride it out!”. Its better to move on and find something better. You are at work so much that you kinda need to be okish. Being unhappy every day and not looking forward to tomorrow Will eat you up :/ i wish you all the best.

      Much love,
      Elin

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hannah | Frugal Bride to Be says:

        Thank you! We spend so much time at work that being happy has got to be up there as a major priority. Hopefully I can take the plunge and find something else fairly soon x

        Liked by 2 people

  24. Megan says:
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    Definitely eat well and get some exercise. Its crazy how that helps us feel better! lol

    I quit my job about 6 months ago do be a stay at home mom. I love my time at home now but it was sad to leave a job I loved. Good luck with your new venture, change is scary but its usually for the better!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elin's Era says:
      Reply

      Thank you so much 🙂 My biggest dream is to be a mom so to me you are living the dream. Hopefully i too Will have small life running around. I know its a tough job but those small moments though, they make it all worth it!

      Much love,
      Elin

      Like

  25. Savvy Sammy says:
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    Girrrrl! I cannot tell you how much I can relate to this. I love my job but with a new manager in town since my previous one retired everyone has been miserable. It is coming up on the 1 year mark since he took over. Myself and my coworkers had high hopes that after a while we would get used to him and morale would come back up but it, sadly, has not. I went on several job interviews and won them all! But I decided to stay at my miserable job because I enjoyed the environment so much otherwise. Most recently a spot opened up in another department so I won’t have to work with him directly anymore! What a relief that is. Immediately after finding out I got approved for the promotion I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It’s nuts how terrible A person with a character flaw can make everyone around them feel. I sure hope you find what you’re searching for. It can be frustrating but worth it in the end. Much love!

    Like

    • Elin's Era says:
      Reply

      That really sound like My situation atm. Sadly i still have to stay for 3 months and he really do everything to push me down and make me feel as worthless as possible. He even smiled when i resigned like he was happy i finally did it (considering he cant fire me himself). :/ shame to say but 2 days in a row now i have stayed at home with a ”migraine” just because i dont want to be at work.

      Hoping for the better soon though. Much love,
      Elin

      Like

  27. 25nfeelingalive says:
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    I am someone who has quit many jobs and I have never regretted doing so. I have many reasons as to why I have. A horrible manager is one – I have challenged them and nothing has come from it so I have quit. It is all part of the wonderful bumps life offers us! Putting yourself first is the most important thing – especially in today’s world. Love your post! Best of luck with everything. Looking forward to reading more. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Todd R. Moody says:
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    I see this is dated to March. I hope you have found a new job and have found happiness. You are right to let go of the people that drain you. True friends give. If you haven’t I’m sending you good vibes in the search.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Lisvah says:
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    Hi there again! I´m portugues teacher so and writer. It was a rough decision it was needed courage you are brave. The workplace needs coworkers to be empathy each other.You don’t was happy at the time, your yield would fall and maybe it would harm the work. Thank God Your get another job.Thank God you got another job, I´m read recent post. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  31. Nadine says:
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    I think we can all relate to this. Sometimes a boss can sucks the life out of you, and make your job a nightmare. A librarian? Kinda envy of you now, since I’m bibliophile; can anyone be a librarian or one has to have a certain degree? I’m unemployed right now, so I don’t know what the future will have for me, what kind of boss or colleagues I will end up having

    Liked by 2 people

    • Elin's Era says:
      Reply

      In sweden you need a university degree (either a literture one or that you went to the specific university for librarians called library and information sciene (i went to this one). But I have heard in other countries you dont need a degree so im not really sure what goes for you. But A library assistent anyone can be 🙂 I wish you all the best in the future. Being a librarian is a wonderful job. I just had a bit of bad luck in my latest boss. He got fired after they heard what he put me through tho. Some kind of justice I guess. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Gary says:
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    A bully boss is a terrible thing. I’ve experienced it. It’s awful.
    I like your plan that you’ve outlined here, especially eating well and staying physically active.
    I’m a medical practitioner from here in Australia.

    Liked by 2 people

  33. The Silly-Savvy Salopian says:
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    I totally get where you are coming from, as I am also writing a journal about quitting the day job. I look forward to finding out what you do next. Unfortunately, there are a lot of power-happy people out there in the workplace!

    Liked by 1 person

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