Last episode: Rise Up Diaries 2 July
Yesterday I had a rather painful day. I woke up and had the sensation that someone had beaten me all night with a hammer in my face. My jaw pain was so extreme. I tried taking my strongest pills which didn’t work. But after sleeping most of the day and night I woke up much better.
Because of this I decided to think about my health yesterday and not sit in front of the computer to write an entry. The light from the screens are enough to trigger even worse migraines sadly.
I can still feel very tired from yesterday. When you are in pain you tense your entire body until the pain goes away and you can relax. But When you finally do relax you just get very exhausted and tired.
I’m very used to this pain. It’s been worse this year which I think is all thanks to my former boss I quit my job to avoid. Being stressed daily and tensing your body being afraid what would happened at work would make my pain worse the day after.
I think I’m still recovering from everything. I know I will never be without pain and it’s something I need to live with. But it would be better and maybe it would be pain in the level that I know I can handle.
I have decided to contact an acupuncture and get a couple hundred needles in my jaw and body to help with the pain. Last time I did this I felt amazing. I hate needles and hate the idea of it, just like I hate taking pills. But when you are struggling with the same kind of daily chronic pain as I’m doing at this moment you will do legit anything to just make it stop.
I tried massage once and it was nice after. But during the massage it was pure pain for 1 hour. I cried and was biting my lip until it started bleeding while he tried to help with my pain. Many find it weird that it hurt for me but I think they don’t understand the concept that it isn’t a “normal” stress realize massage but a deep massage, they usually hurts. Especially if you have problems on the areas that is massaged. I couldn’t even stand up and walk after the massages. So this is why I find the acupuncture to be a tiny bit less painless than the massage. Nothing with me is painless these days though. Anything to be better.
Something that do upset me is when people look at me and they say I don’t look sick or that I smile and look happy so I cant be in that much pain. Not all of us have something visible we can show, some of us struggle even if you can’t see it. Just because you can’t see my illness doesn’t make it unreal.
BabyMetal is a Japanese metal group that have brought cuteness to metal music for over 8 years now. I remember them being one of my obsessions in my teens. They, being around my age, have grown up alongside with me which been a blessing. Their music been different from the start. They been singing about wanting chocolate to liking to headbang.
I have never really had the time or money to see one of their European concerts. But next year in February I been blessed with a concert in Stockholm. Tomorrow at 5 July the tickets will be released and I will be all over them.
Sadly one of the original members, Yui Mizuno, has quit due to her health conditions. We have gotten a third new member who is doing a wonderful job to fill Yuis boots. But I can’t say it doesn’t make me sad to see her go.
Seeing them grow up from this “older” versions of music to the albums they have released today. I have seen their cuteness level go down a bit and they been more and more serious about the metal music. I have even seen these small girls do a Crucifixion on stage. They always do a dance to the songs they do, which I in younger age did learn. I love watching peoples reactions to BabyMetal, especially hardcore metal fans who see them and role their eyes but than after hearing their songs have to say “they are actually pretty good”.
I can’t say I love metal music but these girls I have a huge weak spot for. Maybe it’s also because of the childhood memory bound I have.
Tea + Books = Happy Elin
Otherwise I haven’t done much today to be honest. I Have taking it rather easy. My dad started his summer vacation today so we celebrated that by going on a father/daugther date at a cafe.
After that I been mostly reading, drinking some tea, watched a movie or two. Hoping that I can fool my friend to a bigger city tomorrow to do some window shopping. I also need to buy some tea. I know I probably have tea that would be enough for a month or two. But there is a special tea I really want that they only sell on special tea shops. I really crave it.
Hav you ever seen or heard about BabyMetal before? Do you have a group or singer you love that not many know about?
How have your day been? Been up to something special?
Do you love tea aswell or are you more of a coffee person?
Next episode: Rise Up Diaries ~ 5th July